The Parable of the Preacher and the Writer

Once upon a time there was a town filled with religious fervor. A man did not believe, until one day he had a religious conversion. He spoke with such passion and certainty, that the believers around him took a liking to him. He rose up the ranks and became a preacher, and was adorned with praise, money, and popularity. The Preacher was a fool, but he found it easy to manipulate the greater fools around him, and he lived in luxury for it. The Preacher died peacefully in his sleep at the age of fifty, unaware of the falsity of his beliefs and teachings.

 

Meanwhile, another man who had been devoutly religious started asking questions. These questions turned into arguments. These arguments turned into knowledge: This man, The Writer, came to know that the religion he was surrounded by was false. He wrote a massive book detailing all the mistakes the believers made, all the arguments against their beliefs, all the possible rebuttals to those arguments, and all the problems with those rebuttals. Living alone in poverty, he spent years and years thinking, reading, writing, re-thinking, re-reading, re-writing, struggling and delighting in his quest for truth, all until his book was complete. He had done it; he had proven beyond a reasonable doubt that the religion was false.

 

The Writer assumed that those around him loved truth. After all, they spoke about truth as if they cared about it more than anything. In his excitement, and naivety, he shared his findings with his community. They will see the logic of the arguments and change their minds, and they will delight in the logic itself and the knowledge it gives us, just as I have, he thought. The Writer projected his joy onto others, but it was the comforting false beliefs, not truth, that brought them joy. He was met with nastiness, accusations, and hatred. He was outcast and thrown into the wilderness where he died at the age of fifty from exposure.

 

Who would you rather get to be? If someone's answer is different from yours, are they in any sense mistaken?

The Parable of Don's Prayer

There once was a man named Don Hodug. He had just been fired from his job. Don didn't understand why God would have him working in a warehouse anyway. Shouldn't he be out in the world, making disciples of every nation, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit?

 

Don looked at his bank account and prayed to God for money. "With money, I could devote my time to you", Don thought.

 

As soon as Don completed his prayer, a line appeared on his bank account. It was a deposit from GOD. That's what the ACH description said: GOD, nothing else.

 

Don yelped in shocked delight and began crying, thanking God over and over, and making all sorts of promises. Don was immediately certain that God had answered his prayer, and his certainty was absolute.

 

Don now had the time, and the peace of mind, to clean his apartment, to rest, and to make plans. But the deposit was only enough to carry things a little bit. Don waited, and prayed. Exactly a week later, the same deposit came through for the same amount. Don was certain that God had answered his prayer, and his certainty was absolute. Don told his closest family and friends the amazing news.

 

Don went to church. Don fixed his car. Don started paying off some of his debts. Don enrolled in seminary classes. Don enrolled in healthcare. Don had been having some medical issues, and now Don had the time and space to go to the doctor.

 

Don saw a primary care doctor for the first time in years. But his blood pressure was so high that he was sent to emergency care. While waiting, Don spoke to the man next to him. 

 

"Do you believe in God?", Don asked.

 

The man, confused, said no. 

 

"Why not?", Don asked.

 

The man gestured to the situation, the emergency room waiting area packed with people on their worst day and healthcare workers zipping to and fro.

 

"Right...", said Don.

 

"...I know God exists!", Don told the man with glee. Don's certainty was absolute.

 

"So what do you do for work?", the nurse said, gathering Don's information.

 

"God pays me to spread the Gospel", Don said. 

 

"Oh?", says the nurse. "Like, a missionary?"

 

"Yes," Don says. "Except missionaries are supported by churches. God pays me directly. See?"

 

Don showed the nurse his bank statements on his phone.

 

"...Whaaat?", the nurse said. "No way!"

 

"Do you believe in God?", Don asked.

 

"It's hard to believe in God in my line of work", the nurse responded. 

 

Don was diagnosed with sleep apnea, and had they caught it any later, Don would be dead, the doctor said.

 

Praise be to God!, Don thought. "God gave me the money needed to catch this just in time," Don told the doctor. "See?", Don showed the doctor his bank statements on his phone.

 

"...Whaaat?", the doctor said. "No way!"

 

"Do you believe in God?", Don asked.

 

"It's hard to believe in God in my line of work", the doctor responded.

 

Don preached to his eye doctor. Don preached to his dentist. Don preached to servers at restaurants. Don preached to strangers he met at the bar, and to strangers he met at the clubs that the strangers from the bar would take him to.

 

There was one problem: Sharing the Gospel did nothing. It didn't work. All Don could do was show them his bank account, but that wasn't enough to convince anyone. They all had objection after objection to Don's beliefs, and Don had no answers. While Don's seminary classes didn't start until the fall, the answers he found online were useless.

 

Frustrated, Don stared at his bank account just before the deposit was supposed to come.

 

"God, if you are listening, skip this deposit. If I receive this deposit, I will lose myself and I will spend it on myself. I won't share the Gospel until you help me make sense of it all", Don said out loud. "Send me a wise prophet who can answer the questions of non-believers. Or grant me the wisdom to answer their questions myself. Or send me an angel who will explain theology to me." But the deposit came on time, as usual. No prophet, no wisdom, no angel. God wasn't listening.

 

Don bought clothes for himself and a vacation on a beach. Don ate fancy meals and lived in luxury. Then, Don got a phone call from the Secret Service. They had been notified by the FBI, who had been tipped off. Someone Don had spoken to had reported Don's situation as a potential financial crime.

 

Back home Don met with a Secret Service agent tasked with investigating Don's situation. They discovered that a B2B company had been accidentally sending guaranteed overnight delivery payments to Don for the past nine weeks.

 

The payments stopped.

 

Don was ordered by a judge to pay back a portion of the mistakenly received money.

 

Don lost the certainty that had been so absolute. But was he justified in his certainty in the first place? Should Don now be certain that God did not answer his prayer, even though his certainty was proved to be unreliable? Or would this second certainty be different enough in its context such that it's only the first certainty that was proved unreliable?